My Journey as a Small Content Creator

Hey everyone, it’s Remy and today I want to have a real talk with you about my channel. I have been doing this YouTuber thing for about 10 months now. It’s even longer if you count my previous channel. And in 10 months, I have uploaded over 400 videos. Live streams, clips, shorts, you name it. This has always been my passion, something I love doing. But here’s the honest truth. Being stuck as a small creator really sucks.

The Struggle of Small Numbers

We recently reached 500 subscribers and in the grand scheme of online content creation, 500 subscribers doesn’t mean a lot. As a content creator, you want your content to reach tens of thousands of people. And uh lately that’s been hitting me hard. I didn’t start this with dreams of making money. Trust me, if millions of people were watching me, even with zero dollars coming in, I would be really happy. But spending so much time planning, live streaming, editing, and seeing such a little return, uh it is tough. It is worn down my passion. And there are days when it just makes me sad.

Self-Doubt and Reflection

I catch myself wondering, am I not funny enough, not interesting enough, just not good enough? I have been reflecting a lot on why things haven’t grown the way I hoped for. I know my videos aren’t exactly algorithm friendly. They don’t optimize for watch time or uh clickthrough rates, which YouTube favors. I thought I was finding a balance between what I love and what you might enjoy. I’m not trying to make videos for everyone. As a small channel, I’m aware that people don’t know who I am. When they click on my videos, I have a very limited time to capture their attention, keep them watching the live stream, and convince them to subscribe.

The Challenge of Long-Form Content

No one will watch an entire hour of content to decide if I’m worth following. Most people might stay for only half a minute before moving on to something else. Therefore, creating long-form videos, especially about video games, makes it really hard. Live streaming arguably more challenging than making videos. With videos, you can edit out anything, remove all of the empty spaces to create a good final product. However, live streaming requires constant engagement, which is exhausting. When it comes to growing a channel through live streams, I’m pretty sure it’s nearly impossible unless you do wild challenges or have the most ridiculous YouTuber models.

My Reality as a Hobby Streamer

As someone who just live streams as a hobby, who isn’t particularly good at any video game, and doesn’t have an unique gimmick, growing your channel by live streaming uh feels impossible. And I don’t blame anyone for that. Your time is valuable. No one is going to sit on a random person’s live stream for hours. Another thing I have realized is that I have been kind of a law involve. I haven’t reached out to other people, collaborated orworked much. I have been just in my own bubble doing what I thought would work. While everyone else seems to be growing together, it is not like there’s anyone reached me for me for a collab.

The Struggle to Connect

Nowadays, everyone has their friends and it’s hard to really go out there and find people. Obviously to get friends that you can make content together, you need to be uh like proactive and really put in the effort, not just waiting for that friendship. But being that first guy to reach out to someone has became really difficult. I’m already an introvert and a shy person. So a lot of the time I’m the one who waits people wait people to interact with me and uh as a small content creator that’s pretty much means never. Also, I don’t just want to do a collab with a random YouTuber just for content. That’s not only boring, but it’s also not authentic.

The Unpredictability of Success

Not only that, while making content, you get some expectations like, “Oh, this video I just made is really great. I bet people are going to love it, but then it doesn’t do as well as you hoped for.” Meanwhile, something you made without planning, uh, putting any effort goes boom viral. It just sucks. This one video I made complete out of frustration ranting about GeForce Now did way better than anything else on my channel. It’s notទ4not even my usual content. And that got me thinking. Is YouTube just about chasing trends now? Repeating what is popular instead of sharing something original?

The Emotional Toll

Right now uh I don’t really know what to do. I have got a small amazing group of loyal fans and I appreciate you more than words can say. You kept me going. But the lack of growth, the lack of attention varies me down. And lately I have been caught myself feeling jealous of other creators wondering what do they have that I don’t. It is so easy to fall into that trap of comparison. You see other creators who seem to be effortlessly growing, hitting milestones and getting that engagement, and it’s hard to not feel a bit jealous. You start questioning your own content, your own personality, wondering what magic ingredient they have that you’re missing.

What’s Next?

So, what is next? I don’t know for sure. Part of me thinks maybe I should quit. It’s a kid’s dream after all. And maybe I was never meant to be a content creator, but another part of me isn’t ready to give up. Maybe I could take a break, step back, and figure out stuff, improve, or maybe I’ll just keep this as a hobby, something I do for fun without stressing about the numbers. I’m not making any big decisions today, but I wanted to be honest with you. While being a content creator isn’t hard and there’s like a thousand things out there that are objectively more difficult, but that doesn’t make this simple. Especially with all the competition and shortening of people’s attention span, it is really difficult to grow a gaming channel.

Hope and Perseverance

Previously, I mentioned that growing a channel is impossible. But that’s not always the case. If you truly create something unique with great effort and quality, people will come. This can range from blowing video essays to funny animations, shorts, there’s definitely room for growth. However, for me, as a YouTuber who primarily makes gaming content, isn’t good at any video games, and I don’t find myself incredibly funny either, it’s really hard to grow. While 500 subscribers is small, you make everything I did so far worth it and thank you for being part of this channel.

A Positive Outlook

I want to believe that none of the things I do in life are a waste of time. It is easy to fall into that cycle of depression thinking you’re wasting your precious time while everyone else seems to be achieving amazing things. First and foremost, comparing yourself to others is detrimental. You are unique and everyone possesses their own special qualities. Beyond that, I believe that everything we do contributes to our life, our our stuff and learning. Just because you spent a long time playing a video game or uh watched, you know, anime all day, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure.

Moving Forward

Despite stuff I said earlier, I want to believe that every video I made resulted in improving improving myself. Even if the numbers on YouTube don’t show it right away, we’re not living in a video game where you can see your stats by going into your character tab. And that makes it harder for ourselves to understand ourselves. It’s not like I think I’m the strongest or anything, but it’s not like I’m at level one either. I have come a long way.

Final Thoughts

Anyways, I don’t want to make this video too long. In short, I just want to share how I how I’m feeling about being stuck as a small content creator and not really knowing where to go from here. I’ve been having a lot of negative thoughts and like doubting myself, wondering if I wasted my time and feeling jealous of others. I want to believe that everything I I have done in my life has helped me uh helped me bring me this far and that nothing is truly a waste. Still, I definitely want to grow my channel, overcome these negative thoughts, and simply be happy.

For now, I think I’m going to continue what I’m doing. At one point in my life, I’ll I’ll probably have to quit focus on other things in life. But till then, I’m gonna make the most out of it. Have fun making videos here. And again, thank you so much for being a part of this channel, this community. Thank you to everyone who joins my live streams. But I’m going to be better. Thank you for listening to me. And see you in another video.